Hypel

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Do our children get the right discipline?

First, I would like to say that I am no Dr. nor professor nor do I have any scholastic education on how to discipline a child, but neither are most of our parents. Second, this entire blog is based on my on personal observations and research as a father and human being.

Back in my day (as if I'm old) children of my house got whooped, all the children! in my house there were no favorites, no privileges and for damn sure no tolerance for any negative spirits in my mothers house. I have 10 siblings 8 other brothers not including myself and 1 sister. We've also had plenty of cousins and nieces and nephews who've lived with us or spent the night and even friends (my mom didn't whoop our friends in case your worried) Our mother was very loving, very caring, nurturing and all those good things and at the same time very firm and well rounded in her understanding of what a child needed to become a good woman or man. She couldn't teach us everything about being a man but what she did teach was that, we would never get it in our minds to EVER! go up against our Mother! She used talks, looks (the looks were the most hurtful) belts, switches, shoes, cords, boards, taken away our things, didn't buy us things because we no longer deserved them, etc.. etc... I want to explore all of these different disciplines and how they affected me personally. Also notice, we never got timeouts... EVER!!! LOL (Just saying)

Physical Discipline (Belts, cords, boards, shoes etc...) has it's limits if your timid about it, the reason for it is to help your child understand how harsh the world can be to them. This kind of discipline reflects the potential discipline your child can receive to a lesser degree by people outside of the house. (Bullies, Gangs, Cops, etc.) It's OK to make mistakes as a child, being a child never last though, so to treat your child like a child is non-progressive because essentially your teaching your child how to carry themselves as a man or woman as well as how to treat others, common sense, common courtesy, and most importantly, every action has a reaction or consequence. My mother taught us that the world will teach us what we don't know; her job is to show us when we're being taught and how to listen and because of that I see the value/or lesson in every situation in life. Honestly, the physical discipline did hurt but in every aspect and every chance she got she showed her love for us. This is a silly memory but whenever we were late for school she would take us to Burger King to get the Croissan'wiches lol, only because she knew we loved them. Whenever we were sick she knew just what to do. Sometimes when we didn't have any money she just would not eat so we can, and those are just a few of the insurmountable things she's done for us. Each time I got whooped I knew I deserved it, honestly, I did some dumb things. I remember my last whoopin though and after that I never got in trouble again. When my mother whooped us she whooped us like we were Rodney King or something lol. The last time I got whooped, it lasted like 8 minutes LOL.. With an extension cord and she got me everywhere, she hurt my body and my pride lol. All of the whoopins had nurturing lessons attached though, we know the Rodney King thing was just hateful, as parents if we decide to spank our children we must attached lessons to them and make sure our children understand. Not obviously but so they can sit inside of themselves and truly think about what they've done.

The Look was a very hurtful tool of hers; she had a few different looks though. One was the "If you don't stop acting a fool in this place I will take you somewhere where no one can hear you lol." That look came in place when we were at Church playing around during sermons or at the grocery store acting up. The look did it's job well, we definitely got the telepathic message and relaxed. The next look was if we didn't relax, like if I paid more attention or gave more energy to messing around then I did to the first look. She'd hit me with the "LEONARD!" Then the look; and the look would say "wait til we get from around these people, you are going to get it" LOL. That's when I shut up and shut down, became my mothers slave to hope she would forget about what she talked to me about in our minds lol. The definition of "Obedience." Her last look was a more shameful one when she felt ashamed, sometimes this look didn't have to do with anything we did and instead her shame came from internal feelings I believe, we saw this because we knew compassion, we knew what it was like for others to have the look of pain in them and I believe that "the look" would teach people body language or at least connect them to the possibility of it being a true way of communicating.

Taking away our things or not buying us things we no longer deserved. I grew up pretty poor relatively speaking, but my mother always made sure we had a place to stay. We didn't have much at all so whenever we got something it was pretty cool, I remember when we first got a Sega Genesis. That was a gift and a curse, we loved video games growing up and it was a great thing for my mom to take away, also they had the games that came out every once in a while that we would be excited for and wanted to get, mind you we didn't know we didn't have much money, my moms was good at depriving us of that knowledge. When we wanted those new games they were always a way of checking to see where we were in terms of working hard for what we wanted and a way of showing us how being a good person can be good enough to have what you want. This method I believe helped me appreciate the little things that I had, or all that I had which for the most part was my family and friends. It was also a great way of helping me understand the things she couldn't take away like.... My birthday, she could take away the cake though LOL. The reason I say that is because we get a better understanding of what is really real in life. What we can be sure will always be there and not to take for granted the things they may not.

In my conclusion lol (I like that expression) the methods you use in disciplining your child should always be a means of making them better people for the World rather than a momentary thing, or a timeout for them to think about how much they hate you or develop whatever feelings you don't guide them to. Discipline is about guidance, make time to guide your children because what you don't teach them, the world will and without the tools of how to survive those teachings, there is no telling what the world may do to them.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Change for the better, you have to be it to see it!


. For so long my life was pretty stagnant, I have plenty of excuses I could make up about why that was the case, honestly there is only one reason my life didn't improve and it's because my mind didn't improve. As of lately God has been blessing me with great company and giving me undeniable reason to let go of my bad company or at least change my mind about them. I changed my mind though, I have so much more faith in myself and in God. I have a much better circle, and I'm inspired by them beyond words. It's been a while since I've written and I'm gonna be more consistent with it for now on. I have a lot of projects in the works right now so getting to the top is only a matter of time now. Peace to you all..

Hypel

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Protest on Wall St.


if someone gains wealth that he did not work for, then someone else works and does not receive the full wealth created by his work. In other words, that "someone else" is exploited. -Capatalism